Things not to do (on existence)

The commandments

You shan't live on the 8th floor of a building
As every man knows 8th floors are really sexy
Living on the 8th floor of a building is like asking to never be able to use your balcony.

You shan't go to mountain- tops
Mountain- tops are delicious
You shan't look down from mountain- tops or any decent hill for the matter
Because the view is exilerating.

You shan't own decent knives
If by chance your rich roomates decide to buy a really good, brand new, vegetable-knife, 
you shall change houses.

You shan't live alone
If by any chance the People decide to vanish
You must hunt for replacements.

You shan't own an abundace of medicinal pills
If by any chance you are prescribed the amount, pretend to be miraculously healed by a faith-healer and never purchase them
If by Fate your sickly roomates bring their own overwhelming amount,
swiftly yet-ellagantly-like-a-ballerina, change houses.

You shan't meticulously read the news
The shit that goes on,
You shall be aware of in a firm yet vague way
Titles of articles shall suffice.

You shan't study the Holocaust for months
No matter how important the information for your political identity and actions,
You shall aquire the information in short amounts by mouth of others who break this commandment.     

You shan't listen to a lot of dolorous music on one go
No matter how exquisite the band
You shall always break it with some silly, euphoric, meaningless music
It is dangerous to go alone!
Here, take this :