Τρίτη, 12 Απριλίου 2016

Conditioning

Behaviorism



A young woman talks to herself, sitting on a chair, rocking back and forth, autisticly

 

Don't do the wrong thing. DON'T do the wrongthing. Don't do the wrong thing. Ooops! Did the wrong thing again! FUCK. Ooooooooh well…

Don't do the wrong thing. DON'T do the wrongthing. Don't do thewrongthing. Don't do Behavior A. Bahavior A is bad. It leads to Behavior B. Behavior B is worse. It leads to Behavior C. THERE'S A WHOLE FUCKING ALPHABET OF THEM , YOU CUNT. Oooooooh… feelbad… ooh don't do the wrongthing. Do the good thing. Do good Behavior Alpha, or innocent Behavior Beta, or boring Behavior Gamma, or conforming Behavior Delta. They are not that many to be honest. Less choices are less stress. LesschoicesarelessstressYOUMORON. DON'T DO THE WRONG THING. Oops! Did the wrongthing again! Oops and oopsy daisy! WHAT CAN YOU DO, RIGHT? RIGHT? RIGHT? HUH? Don't do the wrong thing. DO NOT DO THE WRONG THING. Do not listen to that music. Oops! Listened to the music! Do not do thewrongthing. Do not say the thing. Don't be the thing. Oops said the thing! Do not do the wrongthing. Don't do the drugs. Oops! Did the drugs! Want more drugs! ALL and EVERY day and allthefuckingtimetillIdie. Don't do the thing. Do the other thing. The thing you have to fucking do. Don't do the thing. Do the otherthing. Oops! Didn't do the otherthing! Did the thing instead! HAHA! Did the thiing! Did the thing insteead! HAHAA! HAHAA! Ooooh, what a bad girl! Did the thing insteeead! Don't do the wrongthing. Do not think the thought. NOT THAT THOUGHT! DO NOT THINK THE THOUGHT. The thought is baaaaaaaaaaad! Oops! Thought the thought! Hahahahahahahaha! Thought the thought! Thought the thought! Don't think the thought! Oops! Thought about the thought for five fucking HOURS! Oops! Hahahahahahahahaha! Oops! Don't do the thing! “Sorry, I did the thing” / “Sorry, I did the thing again, please don't be mad” / “Sorry, I did the thing again, please don't be angry” / “Sorry, I did the thing again, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE” / “Sorry, I did the thing again, PLEASE STILL LOVE MEEE!” / “Sorry, I did the thing” / “ Sorryyy, I did... the... thiing” / “Ii'm soooo sorry, I did thething again, PLEEASE, PLEEASE I'M SOOO SORRYYYY, OH GOD PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I'M SO SORRYYYY, OH GOOOD”. DON'T do the wrongthing. NO. No fucking freedom. NO. NO!!! No fucking freedom. Relaxation. WHAT? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Relaxation, he says. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! No ,man. No fucking relaxation. The mind has to be as tight as a boy's asshole. Laissez-fair doesn't work here, man. Hahahahahahah. Relaxation , he says. What a funny thing to say! Really! Hahahahahahhahaha. How amusing! How fucking amusing! Is this ok? Am I doing okay? Is this oh-fucking-kay or K.O. ? Is this leading to life conditions “z” ? (This alphabet is infinite, there is a LOOOONG way to GO after “z” ,dear, trust me. This well -as in she fell in a well- you call “life-conditions” , or “life” orwhatever is Carrollian, trust me. There is no end in this alphabet. It DOESN'T stop at 26.) D...D..DDDON'T do the wrong thing. Always beware. ALWAYS BEWARE.

                           BEWARE. 
                           BEWARE. 
                           BE A VERY WEARY BEAR.

NO alcohol. Oops! Alcohoool! Oops! Mooore alcohol! Is willpower a countable thing? Is willpower quantifiable enough to have its own S.I. symbol of unit? DON'T FUCKING KNOW! Don't do the wrongthing. 

DON'T. 
JUST… 
just don't ,ok? 

Don't do the self-pity. Oops! Did the self- pity! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Did the self-pity for 3 hours/ for a month [ Ooops! Hah! ] / for ten years/ for 20 years/ for a century/ for two universes' time-lines- worth. What kind of FUCKING PERVERT loves themselves, seriously? That's such a fucking weird way of being , maan! Do they find themselves attractive, as well? Is that why they like having sex in front of mirrors? What the fuckingfuck? I don't get that, man. I don't. I DON'T get that atall. Don't do thewrongthing. Stomach hurts. Don't eat the thing. Oops! Ate the thing! Oops! Ate all the things! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ATE ALL THE FUCKINGTHINGS THERE ARE NONE LEFT ,TRUST ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAH! Don't do the thing. DON'T do thething. If you do the thing, you end up with life-conditions “x”. Remember how baad life-conditions “x” sucked ASS? REMEMBER THAT, HUH? So DON'T do the fucking thing. DON'T. Awwwww… bad feelings ,huh? So don't do the bad behaviors. Right?
 Well, the thing is…
 …

that is a really important sentence and it fucks everything up , right?

it does, though,
because, no matter
   how much you try, and you try, and you try, and you try, and you  try, andyoutryandyoutryandyoutry, to do the good behaviors,
   how fucking ALERT! you are all THEFUCKINGTIIIIME, to be careful, to do the good behaviors,
not the bad,

   not the substances, not the thoughts, not the actions, not the vocations, not the mannerisms, not the food, not this person, no no no no no- the dangerous person, not the dangerous person nononononono- stay away from the dangerous person, have I done this before? is this a behavioristic Déjà-vous of bad choices?

the thing is,
even if you try,
taken as a given the nihilistic stand-point of “good” and “bad” being relative terms
you never really, never REALLY – REALLY, can be sure of the bad behaviors,which ONES ARE THE BAD BEHAVIORS, right? Usually, you can only know when it's too late. 
RETRO
ACTIVELY
 Also a life this guarded sounds extremely lame. Well, DON'T SEE ANY OTHER CHOICE TO BE HONEST.
I'mtiredreally.

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